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Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Beyond Silence


     Here I am again excited to write another masterpiece of my mind. I would like to discuss further approximating what you hear in silence. How important it is. Sometimes, we don’t appreciate it, but there’s a lot of unspoken treasure with it. 

When you are in love, it is  in the heart, that even when you have thousand of words to say, still you can’t find the right word to magnify the every minute details of reason of how you felt. But it’s in silence where you listen attentively to your partner’s eyes. According to Dr. Hyle, some of the most beautiful expression of love are expressed in silence. Well I am a person who talks a lot but silence for me is important when I am too much full of thoughts and emotions, because when one is in love, there’s only 3 words to summarize all, that’s “I love you”. The loving heart exudes love in silence. Silence between friends and lover’s says that one’s presence is enough. There are thousands of places that one could choose, but if he chooses to be with you from all other places, and from all other people, even his silence speaks volumes of tender expressions of love. In such silent moments in private sanctuaries one’s silence says “ your presence is enough. When one is dismayed and disappointed, by just merely holding each others hands in silence is enough. It is like saying “ we will be okay”. True love need not to be confirmed daily but it is perennially spoken and demonstrated in silence of assurance. When you keep asking “ do you love me? It is somehow, partly, asking because you are not convinced so well.

When you care, be it in friendship or romantic attachments, the kind of silence says something else. You don’t have to gain an assurance by words because assurance is shown so well through actions. True friendship need not be reconfirmed daily, because even when you are far from each other, the silence you both experience is a thriving factor of needing each other. True relationship does not everyday, every week, every month. Because when God places in the heart of one true love, one true friendship for another, peace , assurance and security is offered-these are spoken is silence.


When we are angry, even though, it won’t seem like obviously simple, silence is needed. But let’s clear the distinction between anger, hurt or irritated. In some level they have common ground but they different. Anger is a common to everybody. We feel hurt or irritated when someone of something obstructs our desires. In its technical sense, anger comes in when one has the desire “to get even with” – that is to take revenge- the cause of the hurt or irritation. When adrenaline pumps to your bloodstream, when your heart rate jumps, when your blood pressure surges, you need to listen to your veins shaking in anger in order to control yourself. Silencing is self-mastery during this time. When you don’t control your emotion, your horn grows, you give a dirty look, but at least you control the scenario by preventing the fight. That’s why silence is important. There are far better ways to cope with hurt and insult other than anger. Because in reality, anger itself acts like poison to your heart that ultimately degrades the quality of your life as much as it hurts life of another person.

      Many expression of love, gratitude and affection are always offered, but there are significant silence that are left unappreciated, but they made up strong relationships. The silence of a quite meal ( like in Betania retreat house, where I only hear the sound of chinawares) is acknowledging God’s bounty, the silence of a busy partner who is a teacher, computing grades while the husband suddenly came with a glass of milk is enough, the silence that is broken by only the twinkle of an eye, the touch of an arm, the squeeze of a hand is more than words. We are lucky! Thanks God that in these noisy and chaos world, God design another way to express our emotion in silence.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Man's Quest for Happiness!

Everybody was always seeking for happiness in many angles and corners in life, be it on a person, in a work, and even on places. People jump from one decision to another in search of true meaning of life where happiness lies. When man is finally in the verge of happiness, eventually he will seek for more and willfully budge on another adventure that will add to his happiness. And when what he is doing is not answering his need for happiness, he will end up sad, alone and crying. It’s because, man by nature is not contented. That’s why, searching for real happiness is some kind of just only a page of a book, only one climax, all the rest are just expositions, then, the end is denouement . In fact, sometimes, the ending is a question, leading to another episode in life, sometimes, comedy, and worst-tragedy.

Our life is like that. Even if traverse the road where we think is right, sometimes the road is not ours. So we are in the wrong track. Oftentimes, in the world where we are confronted with many obstacles, we tend to take the instant giver of happiness that somehow ruin our life, such as vices, abuse, alcohol etc… all these are just depressant, they make us experience ecstasy, but when it subsides, we are again doomed into a life full of hate and bitterness where happiness has no room to stay in our heart. The most frustrating part is when, we take the road less travelled, where we stumble on big stones , tormented with sharp grasses and clean up the road to leave a good trace, sometime, life is just harsh enough that  all the effort are just left in vain. You may think that you have finally found happiness, but no, because other forces pull you down and made you unhappy.

It is said, happiness is choice. True, it is  a wise choice. However, when deciding what to do and what to decide, whether to buy an ice cream or a chocolate, to stay or to go to party, to accept or not to accept an offer, etc, first, believe or not, our decision is cored in the yearning to be happy, or at least happier than now. Second, there’s a good chance that the decision we jump into, may be wrong, thus, it will make us unhappy. There’s only two greater chances that shares the same probability-to get happiness or unhappiness. A coin somehow will not stand as you throw. You know what I mean.

According to Harvard Psychologist, its not for the lack of trying. The declaration of Independence affirms that we have an inalienable right to pursue happiness. See? We look for newer, fresher, bigger, cutest, finest, the best, stuff like that. But many of us believe that “ stuffs” can’t buy happiness. For most, man’s imagination is positioned to think of happy-ever-after scenarios. But neither sadness and joy will last long as we expect. Because even those who sleep with money on their bed, don’t guarantee total happiness. Remember, happiness has many levels. It depends on how much you love things, people, events. Accordingly, you can’t love without happiness and you can’t be happy without love in some degree.

So.. to sum it up, happiness is just within us. Those outside forces were just stimulus that even our response can be manipulated. If “they” can’t make us happy, we can make other things happy from and of us. We can make insignificant  things bring about happiness by simply appreciating that thy exist. The cheapest cell phone that we have, unless damaged, serves its purpose to let us connect to our love ones, thus, it deserves to get a good smile from us. The simple food that we share on the table(  while others don’t have food to eat)  should at least make us appreciate life, happy that we can make our stomach full each day. The people who stayed with us, lovingly cared for us, emptying themselves for us, are worth millions of happiness, why? because you can’t just find these on the road like candy wraps.

Happiness is indeed within us, We only have to appreciate things as they are. It is not found anywhere. It’s just right before our eyes that we don’t notice. It’s just right on our nose that our eyes can’t see but can feel.
( PS. I will sleep happily now )